I dreamt of my friend Tim last night; at least this time when I awoke I remembered he is dead.
The anniversary of his death is coming up. Don't know why I refer to it as an "anniversary" - it is not as if it is something I am celebrating. He has been on my mind lately more than normal. Probably because the weather turned autumn-esque for a little while and my internal clock knew what I was experiencing last autumn.
My own personal haunting...only in my dreams.
I feel like God truly has answered my prayers when it comes to that. I always have dreams about my friends that I don't get to see on a regular basis, it is what reminds me to stay in touch with them. When Tim died I PRAYED HARD to not have dreams about him. Then, because I missed him I remember sort of telling God that I take it back. That was when I had the last dream, where when I woke up I had forgotten he was dead and reached for the phone to call him.
God has been good. I have not dreamed of Tim since then, until now. I am actually kind of grateful for it. You see, you would think that having shared a nine year friendship with someone that over the course of time you would have some EVIDENCE of it.
Nope, not me.
I live in the moment.
I don't take pictures or video or things like that.
I have nothing but memories....
.....................................sometimes though I wish I had a video
................................................................just to hear him laugh.
So God gave me dreams.
Not quite the same, but hey...He's trying.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Only in my dreams
I dreamt of my friend Tim last night; at least this time when I awoke I remembered he is dead.
The anniversary of his death is coming up. Don't know why I refer to it as an "anniversary" - it is not as if it is something I am celebrating. He has been on my mind lately more than normal. Probably because the weather turned autumn-esque for a little while and my internal clock knew what I was experiencing last autumn.
My own personal haunting...only in my dreams.
I feel like God truly has answered my prayers when it comes to that. I always have dreams about my friends that I don't get to see on a regular basis, it is what reminds me to stay in touch with them. When Tim died I PRAYED HARD to not have dreams about him. Then, because I missed him I remember sort of telling God that I take it back. That was when I had the last dream, where when I woke up I had forgotten he was dead and reached for the phone to call him.
God has been good. I have not dreamed of Tim since then, until now. I am actually kind of grateful for it. You see, you would think that having shared a nine year friendship with someone that over the course of time you would have some EVIDENCE of it.
Nope, not me.
I live in the moment.
I don't take pictures or video or things like that.
I have nothing but memories....
.....................................sometimes though I wish I had a video
................................................................just to hear him laugh.
So God gave me dreams.
Not quite the same, but hey...He's trying.
The anniversary of his death is coming up. Don't know why I refer to it as an "anniversary" - it is not as if it is something I am celebrating. He has been on my mind lately more than normal. Probably because the weather turned autumn-esque for a little while and my internal clock knew what I was experiencing last autumn.
My own personal haunting...only in my dreams.
I feel like God truly has answered my prayers when it comes to that. I always have dreams about my friends that I don't get to see on a regular basis, it is what reminds me to stay in touch with them. When Tim died I PRAYED HARD to not have dreams about him. Then, because I missed him I remember sort of telling God that I take it back. That was when I had the last dream, where when I woke up I had forgotten he was dead and reached for the phone to call him.
God has been good. I have not dreamed of Tim since then, until now. I am actually kind of grateful for it. You see, you would think that having shared a nine year friendship with someone that over the course of time you would have some EVIDENCE of it.
Nope, not me.
I live in the moment.
I don't take pictures or video or things like that.
I have nothing but memories....
.....................................sometimes though I wish I had a video
................................................................just to hear him laugh.
So God gave me dreams.
Not quite the same, but hey...He's trying.
