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Thursday, November 30, 2006

"HE loves me MORE!"

This is something I wanted to share with the world but first I needed to share it with and thank the childrens ministry at Granger Community Church.

(I turned into a blubbering mess retelling this at our weekly staff meeting, but I think "blubbering mess" is pretty much expected from me by now.)

This past Sunday, after we attended services Paige and I were at the kitchen table chatting about her singing in this coming weekend's service with all the other kids and her memory verse from Ephesians and the lessons she learned in the Heir Force room at church....

I really don't recall the conversation very well because quite frankly this part shines in my memory like a beacon of light. She said something about God's love for her and I said "Well you know how much I love you?" (emphasis on the "I" because I have always made it quite apparent to my kids how much I love them) and she said "Yeah" and just as I was about to say it, she reached over and grabbed my arm and with wide eyes and a smile she said "HE loves me MORE!"

She knows. She understands that she matters. A goal accomplished with the help of friends. Thanks again to our children's ministry and the people in the Heir Force room.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

...this was not much of a surprise to me

You Are Marge Simpson

You're a devoted family member who loves unconditionally.

Sometimes, though, you dream about living a wild secret life!

You will be remembered for: your good cooking and evading the police

Your life philosophy: "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."
The Simpsons Personality Test

I found this on my buddy Stephen's blog...go figure...I'm Marge. I was kind of hoping for Lisa.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

BREANNA! Happy "sweet" 16 !!!





No one knows her the way that I do...I am sure everyone can say that, but my relationship with her is special. Most of the world sees her hard, brightly colored candy shell, but I see her mushy chocolatey insides. Yes, I am comparing her to an m&m. A red one to be precise. So, this will probably wipe all previous posts from view, but I want to share a photo montage of her life thus far. I will not caption the pictures...nor will I explain them. This is more for her than anyone else and I don't have enough space on the entire internet to describe all of these pictures properly.

Happy Birthday Beanie Jo!!!! My Butterfly, I Love you.





























Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Two Big Moments for Me

#1 I created a pie yesterday. I did not just MAKE a pie, which would mean that I used someone elses recipe. I CREATED a pie, from my own brain...no recipes...raw ingredients (well, storebought graham craker crust but the complete idea is MINE!). I even had enough sense to write down everything I used so that I could recreate it. AND my husband thought it was good and Breanna likes it even better than my pineapple cake (which is not MY creation but something that I can bake well)...and that says alot because she LOVES my pineapple cake.

#2 I finally have a subscribe option on my blog. Look over there <----- that little orange thingy at the top left side of the page. Apparently if you click on it, you can have an email sent to you every time I post something new instead of checking randomly hoping I have shared some of my vast wealth of insight and wisdom. So, I dedicate my Feedblitz subscribe button to my pal Kathy Guy...she was the one who noticed that this element was missing from my blog.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Looks like I'm "IT"

I have quiety lived in the blogosphere for almost a year and have never been "Tagged" until my pal Julie, who just entered the blogging realm, ruined my streak. So, I will happily play along, until of course the last question - which you will understand when you get there. Now aside from the fact that my husband and children are always the TOP THREE people who I love, and make me laugh, and am afraid of losing here is my "Three Things" list:

Three things that scare me.

1. Getting old and becoming an invalid
2. My children (so, many possibilities and only one me)
3. Small Talk

Three people who make me laugh.
1. Until recently, my friend Tim (r.i.p Chief)
2. Theresa Hoeft
3. Jack Magruder

Three things I love.
1. Eyeballs
2. Fuzzy slippers
3. Books

Three things I hate.
1. Spiders (insects in general)
2. Not being able to help a child who is in pain
3. Getting my socks wet

Three things I don't understand
1. Aerodynamics
2. Physics
3. HTML

Three things I love in a girl/boy.
1. An odd sense of humor
2. Ability to share of themselves without be prodded
3. Confidence without conceit

Three ways to best describe my personality.
1. An introvert living in an extroverts body
2. Helpful
3. Curious
(Dave says: Bright, Bubbly and Goofy)

Three things I can't do.
1. Play a sport without getting injured
2. Touch my nose w/ my tongue OR curl my tongue
3. Small Talk

Three favorite movies.
1. Gone With the Wind
2. The Wedding Date
3. Legends of the Fall

Three goals for the future.
1. Own my own all inclusive wedding venue
2. Be at my goal weight by the age of 40
3. Do the announcements at New Community (speak in public)

Three of my dumbest moments.
1. The first time I went ice skating: Picture my whole family, all of us first timers on the ice. We were on the ice maybe 30 minutes and I think I am doing great so I am skating alone trying to go around the turn and instead of turning I start SPINNING and fall. While mid-fall I thought that I should do my best not to hit my head and angled it away from the ice. Unfortunately when I hit, I went down on my side and the angle of my head caused my neck to snap and slam the left side of my face directly into the ice. I did not go unconcious but I remember the world turning gray and when I refocused I could see my husband crawling across the ice with a look of panic on his face. The stupid part of this is that I had Dave and a rink guard sliding me off the ice, and then tried to act fine and let the family continue to skate while I took a break inside. It wasn't long before I realized I should be seen at the ER. All turned out okay, however, I had just begun a new job and NO ONE there was brave enough to ask how I got the bruises all over my face.

2. Throwing away a scholarship to Notre Dame

3. Encouraging a boyfriend to take one of my friend's to her high school senior prom. Do I really need to tell you how THAT turned out? However, she and I are again great friends, as are he and I - AND I even helped his wife (who is also now a great friend) plan their wedding!

Three people I'm tagging...

No one. It stops here! Aside from that, everyone else I know that has a blog has already been tagged!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With all of that said, this was kind of fun. Thanks Julie for including me, it made me think and reflect on some pretty interesting moments.


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The music in my head


Okay, some people know that I constantly have a tune of some sort in my head throughout the day. Over the years the most frequently played songs in my head have been:

The Tra-La-La Song (One Banana, Two Banana) from the show The Banana Splits
Wont You Be My Neighbor from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
If I Only Had a Brain from the Wizard of Oz
Yellow Submarine by The Beatles

Now, some have tried to determine my mood based on the tune I hum and really I must tell you...the mood does not determine it, an event may determine what sets off a particular song, but never my mood. Sometimes it is the same song all day, and then there are days where the songs just rotate randomly - as if my brain is it's own iPod (or better yet, it's own Zune) and it only has a few songs and it is set on SHUFFLE.

What I recently shared with my pal Kathy was that I most days wake up with a song in my head (never one of the four above) and I don't believe that any dreams set it off. Some are songs I have recently heard and others are songs that I have not heard in a very long time. Some times it is a medley of songs.

So, I started tracking the songs that I wake up to (to the best of my abilities, but it can be hard for me because most times I ignore the fact that the song is there...I have dealt with it most of my adult life so I don't always notice it and by the time I get back to my list to make note of it, I have forgotten what it was.

The other day I was telling my husband about the latest song medley I woke up to and apparently I have been so used to this aspect of myself that in the 14 years we have known each other I had never told him about this. I get the feeling that his suspicions of me being an odd person were confirmed in that moment...but he stayed so apparently he loves my oddities.

So, I was tracking my songs to share on my blog and here are the ones I was able to jot down. (I also tried to make note of any events that day that may be related thinking maybe my songs are little premonitions...silly I know but hey, there must be a reason for me waking to a tune each day. No, I do not have a radio alarm for all you smart alecks out there. I would love to know if anyone else shares this malaise. Okay, here is my list:

Friday, October 20, 2006

Manic Monday - The Bengals

(Kathy asked me if I would be available on Monday, to assist with a small groups event)

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Family Tradition – Hank Williams Jr.

(Woke up at 5:46 with this song in my head. Around 7 am I could no longer fight it, I got dressed and went and visited my parents…it had been 2 weeks)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

NO SONG

(No work)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Sunday Morning – Maroon 5

(Obviously on a Monday morning I would want an extended weekend…)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Trouble – Pink

(Paige had a dentist appointment that was…eventful)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Adrian – Jewel

(This song, is about a boy who is in an accident and is comatose the rest of his life and a childhood (girl)friend keeps wishing he can come out to play. There was nothing to relate this to in my life that day.)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

NO SONG
(No work, Breanna had a root canal done…great fun…darn it, I should have taken pictures of it ! I did get a picture of the squirrel in the parking lot…looked like he was saving a space for his posse)

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Why’d you lie to me – Anastasia

My sister, her boyfriend, his daughter, her youngest daughter and their daughter together all came over unexpectedly to join my husband and daughter trick or treating…

Very interesting.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

1:27 a.m. Modern Love – David Bowie

5:36 a.m. Afternoon Delight – The Starland Vocal Band

(I will not share the details of the relevance of these songs)

Friday, November 03, 2006

Blue on Black – Kenny Wayne Sheppard

Monday, November 06, 2006 (80’s songs medley)

Too Shy Shy – Kajagoogoo
Kharma Cameleon – Culture Club
Run RunAway - Slade (or Big Sea)
Runaway – Bon Jovi
Warrior – Scandal

(note, after Warrior started dying down, Beat It by Michael Jackson tried to rev up and I purposely latched on to Warrior and played it all the way through in my head because I will be vexed before I allow The Freak of Pop a place in my head.)

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Wedding March – Resurrection Brass version

(I had a dream about a wedding so that is really not surprising…the surprise is that the song actually related to a dream!)

----------------------
I was trying to see if there was a pattern to when I noticed I DID NOT wake with a song in my head, but there did not seem to be one. Aside from that, it was not often enough. As you may have noticed I do not have EVERY day down, but like I said, somedays I would just forget to make note or I would forget what it was. One day, just recently, I woke up with a song in my head, and I had NEVER heard it before! It is like my brain made up it's own song! It was a man's voice singing and the lyrics made sense, but I knew it was not a REAL song. Weird, I know, but I like me that way.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Devil's Dictionary



Has anyone ever read The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce?
I had never heard of it before.

You can read it for free HERE

This is what I found online regarding this work:

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) was one of nineteenth-century America's most renowned satirists. The author of short stories, essays, fables, poems, and sketches, he was a popular columnist and wrote for several San Francisco and London newspapers during his forty-year journalism career.

The Devil's Dictionary was begun in a weekly paper in 1881, and was continued in a desultory way at long intervals until 1906. In that year a large part of it was published in covers with the title The Cynic's Word Book, a name which the author had not the power to reject or happiness to approve. To quote the publishers of the present work:

"This more reverent title had previously been forced upon him by the religious scruples of the last newspaper in which a part of the work had appeared, with the natural consequence that when it came out in covers the country already had been flooded by its imitators with a score of 'cynic' books -- The Cynic's This, The Cynic's That, and The Cynic's t'Other. Most of these books were merely stupid, though some of them added the distinction of silliness. Among them, they brought the word 'cynic' into disfavor so deep that any book bearing it was discredited in advance of publication."

Here are some excerpts from the dictionary that I felt you (my loyal readers) might find interesting. Please take no offense...I did not personally create these definitions...I did get some amusement from them. Others may be insulted, I was not...more fascinated than anything. Makes me wonder what kind of person Ambrose was.

ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

ACKNOWLEDGE, v. t. To confess. Acknowledgement of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe. Friendly warning.

ALONE, adj. In bad company.

AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

APOLOGIZE, v. i. To lay the foundation for a future offence.

FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

FORGIVE (this word was NOT in the dictionary, I just found that noteworthy - if the Devil had a dictionary, he would not be able to define this word)


LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, "Is life worth living?" has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.

"Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,"
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
"Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.
Han Soper


LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

MALE, n. A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earh and Canada.

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by many of the elder zoologists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from Greeland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular name (wolfman) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind. The woman is lithe and graceful in its movement, especially the American variety (Felis pugnans), is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.

I actually liked that last one. It made me giggle. (GIGGLE is another word not in The Devil's Dictionary)

Flickr

Thursday, November 30, 2006

"HE loves me MORE!"

This is something I wanted to share with the world but first I needed to share it with and thank the childrens ministry at Granger Community Church.

(I turned into a blubbering mess retelling this at our weekly staff meeting, but I think "blubbering mess" is pretty much expected from me by now.)

This past Sunday, after we attended services Paige and I were at the kitchen table chatting about her singing in this coming weekend's service with all the other kids and her memory verse from Ephesians and the lessons she learned in the Heir Force room at church....

I really don't recall the conversation very well because quite frankly this part shines in my memory like a beacon of light. She said something about God's love for her and I said "Well you know how much I love you?" (emphasis on the "I" because I have always made it quite apparent to my kids how much I love them) and she said "Yeah" and just as I was about to say it, she reached over and grabbed my arm and with wide eyes and a smile she said "HE loves me MORE!"

She knows. She understands that she matters. A goal accomplished with the help of friends. Thanks again to our children's ministry and the people in the Heir Force room.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

...this was not much of a surprise to me

You Are Marge Simpson

You're a devoted family member who loves unconditionally.

Sometimes, though, you dream about living a wild secret life!

You will be remembered for: your good cooking and evading the police

Your life philosophy: "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."
The Simpsons Personality Test

I found this on my buddy Stephen's blog...go figure...I'm Marge. I was kind of hoping for Lisa.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

BREANNA! Happy "sweet" 16 !!!





No one knows her the way that I do...I am sure everyone can say that, but my relationship with her is special. Most of the world sees her hard, brightly colored candy shell, but I see her mushy chocolatey insides. Yes, I am comparing her to an m&m. A red one to be precise. So, this will probably wipe all previous posts from view, but I want to share a photo montage of her life thus far. I will not caption the pictures...nor will I explain them. This is more for her than anyone else and I don't have enough space on the entire internet to describe all of these pictures properly.

Happy Birthday Beanie Jo!!!! My Butterfly, I Love you.





























Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Two Big Moments for Me

#1 I created a pie yesterday. I did not just MAKE a pie, which would mean that I used someone elses recipe. I CREATED a pie, from my own brain...no recipes...raw ingredients (well, storebought graham craker crust but the complete idea is MINE!). I even had enough sense to write down everything I used so that I could recreate it. AND my husband thought it was good and Breanna likes it even better than my pineapple cake (which is not MY creation but something that I can bake well)...and that says alot because she LOVES my pineapple cake.

#2 I finally have a subscribe option on my blog. Look over there <----- that little orange thingy at the top left side of the page. Apparently if you click on it, you can have an email sent to you every time I post something new instead of checking randomly hoping I have shared some of my vast wealth of insight and wisdom. So, I dedicate my Feedblitz subscribe button to my pal Kathy Guy...she was the one who noticed that this element was missing from my blog.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Looks like I'm "IT"

I have quiety lived in the blogosphere for almost a year and have never been "Tagged" until my pal Julie, who just entered the blogging realm, ruined my streak. So, I will happily play along, until of course the last question - which you will understand when you get there. Now aside from the fact that my husband and children are always the TOP THREE people who I love, and make me laugh, and am afraid of losing here is my "Three Things" list:

Three things that scare me.

1. Getting old and becoming an invalid
2. My children (so, many possibilities and only one me)
3. Small Talk

Three people who make me laugh.
1. Until recently, my friend Tim (r.i.p Chief)
2. Theresa Hoeft
3. Jack Magruder

Three things I love.
1. Eyeballs
2. Fuzzy slippers
3. Books

Three things I hate.
1. Spiders (insects in general)
2. Not being able to help a child who is in pain
3. Getting my socks wet

Three things I don't understand
1. Aerodynamics
2. Physics
3. HTML

Three things I love in a girl/boy.
1. An odd sense of humor
2. Ability to share of themselves without be prodded
3. Confidence without conceit

Three ways to best describe my personality.
1. An introvert living in an extroverts body
2. Helpful
3. Curious
(Dave says: Bright, Bubbly and Goofy)

Three things I can't do.
1. Play a sport without getting injured
2. Touch my nose w/ my tongue OR curl my tongue
3. Small Talk

Three favorite movies.
1. Gone With the Wind
2. The Wedding Date
3. Legends of the Fall

Three goals for the future.
1. Own my own all inclusive wedding venue
2. Be at my goal weight by the age of 40
3. Do the announcements at New Community (speak in public)

Three of my dumbest moments.
1. The first time I went ice skating: Picture my whole family, all of us first timers on the ice. We were on the ice maybe 30 minutes and I think I am doing great so I am skating alone trying to go around the turn and instead of turning I start SPINNING and fall. While mid-fall I thought that I should do my best not to hit my head and angled it away from the ice. Unfortunately when I hit, I went down on my side and the angle of my head caused my neck to snap and slam the left side of my face directly into the ice. I did not go unconcious but I remember the world turning gray and when I refocused I could see my husband crawling across the ice with a look of panic on his face. The stupid part of this is that I had Dave and a rink guard sliding me off the ice, and then tried to act fine and let the family continue to skate while I took a break inside. It wasn't long before I realized I should be seen at the ER. All turned out okay, however, I had just begun a new job and NO ONE there was brave enough to ask how I got the bruises all over my face.

2. Throwing away a scholarship to Notre Dame

3. Encouraging a boyfriend to take one of my friend's to her high school senior prom. Do I really need to tell you how THAT turned out? However, she and I are again great friends, as are he and I - AND I even helped his wife (who is also now a great friend) plan their wedding!

Three people I'm tagging...

No one. It stops here! Aside from that, everyone else I know that has a blog has already been tagged!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With all of that said, this was kind of fun. Thanks Julie for including me, it made me think and reflect on some pretty interesting moments.


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The music in my head


Okay, some people know that I constantly have a tune of some sort in my head throughout the day. Over the years the most frequently played songs in my head have been:

The Tra-La-La Song (One Banana, Two Banana) from the show The Banana Splits
Wont You Be My Neighbor from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
If I Only Had a Brain from the Wizard of Oz
Yellow Submarine by The Beatles

Now, some have tried to determine my mood based on the tune I hum and really I must tell you...the mood does not determine it, an event may determine what sets off a particular song, but never my mood. Sometimes it is the same song all day, and then there are days where the songs just rotate randomly - as if my brain is it's own iPod (or better yet, it's own Zune) and it only has a few songs and it is set on SHUFFLE.

What I recently shared with my pal Kathy was that I most days wake up with a song in my head (never one of the four above) and I don't believe that any dreams set it off. Some are songs I have recently heard and others are songs that I have not heard in a very long time. Some times it is a medley of songs.

So, I started tracking the songs that I wake up to (to the best of my abilities, but it can be hard for me because most times I ignore the fact that the song is there...I have dealt with it most of my adult life so I don't always notice it and by the time I get back to my list to make note of it, I have forgotten what it was.

The other day I was telling my husband about the latest song medley I woke up to and apparently I have been so used to this aspect of myself that in the 14 years we have known each other I had never told him about this. I get the feeling that his suspicions of me being an odd person were confirmed in that moment...but he stayed so apparently he loves my oddities.

So, I was tracking my songs to share on my blog and here are the ones I was able to jot down. (I also tried to make note of any events that day that may be related thinking maybe my songs are little premonitions...silly I know but hey, there must be a reason for me waking to a tune each day. No, I do not have a radio alarm for all you smart alecks out there. I would love to know if anyone else shares this malaise. Okay, here is my list:

Friday, October 20, 2006

Manic Monday - The Bengals

(Kathy asked me if I would be available on Monday, to assist with a small groups event)

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Family Tradition – Hank Williams Jr.

(Woke up at 5:46 with this song in my head. Around 7 am I could no longer fight it, I got dressed and went and visited my parents…it had been 2 weeks)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

NO SONG

(No work)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Sunday Morning – Maroon 5

(Obviously on a Monday morning I would want an extended weekend…)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Trouble – Pink

(Paige had a dentist appointment that was…eventful)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Adrian – Jewel

(This song, is about a boy who is in an accident and is comatose the rest of his life and a childhood (girl)friend keeps wishing he can come out to play. There was nothing to relate this to in my life that day.)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

NO SONG
(No work, Breanna had a root canal done…great fun…darn it, I should have taken pictures of it ! I did get a picture of the squirrel in the parking lot…looked like he was saving a space for his posse)

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Why’d you lie to me – Anastasia

My sister, her boyfriend, his daughter, her youngest daughter and their daughter together all came over unexpectedly to join my husband and daughter trick or treating…

Very interesting.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

1:27 a.m. Modern Love – David Bowie

5:36 a.m. Afternoon Delight – The Starland Vocal Band

(I will not share the details of the relevance of these songs)

Friday, November 03, 2006

Blue on Black – Kenny Wayne Sheppard

Monday, November 06, 2006 (80’s songs medley)

Too Shy Shy – Kajagoogoo
Kharma Cameleon – Culture Club
Run RunAway - Slade (or Big Sea)
Runaway – Bon Jovi
Warrior – Scandal

(note, after Warrior started dying down, Beat It by Michael Jackson tried to rev up and I purposely latched on to Warrior and played it all the way through in my head because I will be vexed before I allow The Freak of Pop a place in my head.)

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Wedding March – Resurrection Brass version

(I had a dream about a wedding so that is really not surprising…the surprise is that the song actually related to a dream!)

----------------------
I was trying to see if there was a pattern to when I noticed I DID NOT wake with a song in my head, but there did not seem to be one. Aside from that, it was not often enough. As you may have noticed I do not have EVERY day down, but like I said, somedays I would just forget to make note or I would forget what it was. One day, just recently, I woke up with a song in my head, and I had NEVER heard it before! It is like my brain made up it's own song! It was a man's voice singing and the lyrics made sense, but I knew it was not a REAL song. Weird, I know, but I like me that way.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Devil's Dictionary



Has anyone ever read The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce?
I had never heard of it before.

You can read it for free HERE

This is what I found online regarding this work:

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) was one of nineteenth-century America's most renowned satirists. The author of short stories, essays, fables, poems, and sketches, he was a popular columnist and wrote for several San Francisco and London newspapers during his forty-year journalism career.

The Devil's Dictionary was begun in a weekly paper in 1881, and was continued in a desultory way at long intervals until 1906. In that year a large part of it was published in covers with the title The Cynic's Word Book, a name which the author had not the power to reject or happiness to approve. To quote the publishers of the present work:

"This more reverent title had previously been forced upon him by the religious scruples of the last newspaper in which a part of the work had appeared, with the natural consequence that when it came out in covers the country already had been flooded by its imitators with a score of 'cynic' books -- The Cynic's This, The Cynic's That, and The Cynic's t'Other. Most of these books were merely stupid, though some of them added the distinction of silliness. Among them, they brought the word 'cynic' into disfavor so deep that any book bearing it was discredited in advance of publication."

Here are some excerpts from the dictionary that I felt you (my loyal readers) might find interesting. Please take no offense...I did not personally create these definitions...I did get some amusement from them. Others may be insulted, I was not...more fascinated than anything. Makes me wonder what kind of person Ambrose was.

ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

ACKNOWLEDGE, v. t. To confess. Acknowledgement of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe. Friendly warning.

ALONE, adj. In bad company.

AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

APOLOGIZE, v. i. To lay the foundation for a future offence.

FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

FORGIVE (this word was NOT in the dictionary, I just found that noteworthy - if the Devil had a dictionary, he would not be able to define this word)


LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, "Is life worth living?" has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.

"Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,"
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
"Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.
Han Soper


LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

MALE, n. A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earh and Canada.

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by many of the elder zoologists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from Greeland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular name (wolfman) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind. The woman is lithe and graceful in its movement, especially the American variety (Felis pugnans), is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.

I actually liked that last one. It made me giggle. (GIGGLE is another word not in The Devil's Dictionary)