Standing In the Breath of God

The Discovery Channel has a show called Beyond Human Limits. Some pretty fascinating tales on that show. One in particular remained with me. A woman, a musical composer and arranger by trade, was suffering from unbearable headaches. She was examined and was found to have an aneurism at the base of her brain. It was inoperable. She was told by everyone that she consulted that it meant certain death. She then found a neurosurgeon who had perfected a technique that would allow him to operate on the aneurism, but in order to do this she had to first die. The procedure was done as a type of cryo surgery. The body temperature was slowly brought down in order to stop the heart and drain the blood from the body while at the same time the patient was given some specialized medication to stop the metabolism in her brain and therefore halt her brain waves. Technically...she is dead. I wont go into much more detail about that because what facinated me was her "near death experience"

She recalls being in the operating room, looking at the procedure. Is able to recall special instruments that were used, some very tiny, that some of the other technicians did not see. She can recall conversations that she could not have possibly heard because at that time they had her ear canals plugged and she had no brain waves. There was more proof, but still...not what stuck in my head.

She said that while watching this, she saw far off in the distance a pin prick of light (I know we all expected to hear that) and that she distinctly heard her grandmother calling to her. When she moved toward the light and the voice she remembered feeling that she did not belong there, that she had not led a perfect life, she was not a perfect person. She said her grandmother told her that no one is perfect and that she had to think of it as "we sent you away to school and we expected you to spill your milk. It is in the way that you cleaned it up that is the source of our pride." (wait, it gets better)

She then asked her grandparents if the light was God. Their response to her was "That? No. That is what happens when God breathes." She was astonished. "I am standing in the breath of God!"

Oh my word...could you imagine feeling that?!?!?

The story continues and she survives the surgery and recounts the events to several people and psychologists who try to say there is no way she could have remembered this since she had no brain waves but her neuro surgeon ended the argument by stating that it would be arrogant and egotistical to say that just because we can't explain it, doesn't mean it isn't possible. (Kudos to that man!)




I don't know, I think that the next time I find myself sitting in some sunlight (which is not even close to the brightness that this woman was describing) I might try to imagine that I am "standing in the breath of God!"

Christian One Liners

• Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
• Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
• Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
• It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
• The good Lord didn't create anythingwithout a purpose, but mosquitoes come close
• .When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
• People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
• Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
• Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
• If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
• God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
• Some minds are like concrete-- thoroughly mixed up and permanentlyset.
• Peace starts with a smile.
• I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
• A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
• We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
• Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
• Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
• Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
• Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
• Forbidden fruits create many jams.
• God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
• God grades on the cross, not the curve.
• God loves everyone, but probably prefers the fruits of the spirit" over "religious uts!"
• God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
• He who angers you, controls you!
• If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
• Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
• The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
• The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
• We don't change the message, the message changes us.
• You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to..........discourage him.
• The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

Some of these are great, others are funny, others I have seen on church marquees, and some are a combination of all of those. They were sent in an email as a compilation so I reprint the list here in it's entirety.

Just a song I enjoy

Something about this song just resonates with me...

You can listen to it by clicking here and then just clicking on the words at the sentence at the top of the page.

Breathe (2 AM)" by Anna Nalick (Wreck of the Day)

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,

"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?

I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season

"Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes

Like they have any right at all to criticize,

Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button, girl.

So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss

Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist,

"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,

But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,

Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, boys,

So cradle your head in your hands,

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,

You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again

If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you understand....and breathe, just breathe,

whoa breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe.

___________________________________________

If you keep listening to the link above once this song is over it plays some clips from other songs on the CD. Some of the clips are pretty powerful. I downloaded the 2am single long before it became popular and purchased the CD shortly after. At the time I did not have a chance to REALLY listen to it. She has some pretty interesting and nearly profound lyrics and her mellow style is great when you are in the right mood...I must be in that mood. I am truly appreciating the CD right now and felt I should share it.

Lyrics that stick out from the song clips:

"But someday we'll all be old and I'll be so damn beautiful" (from the song Paper Bag)

"Driving away from the wreck of the day and I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus," (from the song Wreck of the Day)

Lessons From Leaving.

I have a friend. Well, I have a few friends but today I am referring to my friend Tim. Tim had a birthday back on May 12th. I remember thinking on that date that I had forgotten something but moved on to other things and then two days ago it hit me: "Holy crap! I missed Tim's birthday without calling or sending a card!" I have not missed his birthday since I met him a week before his 39th and this year he turned 48. So, after it hit me (while I was driving home from work) I called him and got his voicemail. My message was basically "I suck as a friend, please forgive me for forgetting your birthday, we have been out of touch lately, lets do lunch soon" He called me at home later that night and sprung some news that prooved that we had been out of touch. He is leaving, in (at that time) 36 hours. He has gone through some major changes in his life (that I was there for and/or knew of) and he is still recovering from them and decided that he needed a change of venue and he was going to give Austin, Texas a shot. He has family there that is going to help him and everyone is cheering him on. So we chatted a bit and I told him that I would like to see him before he left, to say good-bye, see him off. We were/are very close friends. He matters to me. So, after checking with my husband to confirm my plans, yesterday I went to see my friend after work. We spent an hour and half recapping the good, the bad, and the ugly that we had been through with each other and shared things that have changed in each others life since we had last seen each other. Ultimately, I knew going in what I wanted him to take with him to Austin: That I was grateful for his friendship and advice during a very difficult time in my life; then I apologized that I put him into that while he was dealing with his own difficult time; told him that I loved him as my friend; that I am glad that he is my friend; that I have nothing but respect for him and that I was proud of him for the decision he has made to move forward. I told him that I would miss him, though we had been out of touch recently, I always knew he was there and that he better make a point of utilizing email and cellular free long distance to keep me up to speed on the progress he is making (because believe me, this man will make progress) so that I can celebrate with him, or just cheer him on if he needs a cheering section.

Today, I find myself wondering: Do my friends know how much they matter to me? Do they know that I appreciate their presence in my life? That I love them?

I am so easily "out of touch" with my friends. I am not a big fan of the phone I use it for work all day long and I get tired of having an inanimate object stuck to the side of my head. I am too Crazy Busy to schedule "face-time" with them these days . What a big mistake.

I realized that soon, I need to make a point of treating each of my friends as if they were moving across the country in 36 hours.

Thanks Tim, for the friendship and the lesson. I will miss you. Have a safe trip. Did you pack your trusty old Dictionary? (inside joke)

Attention Corporate Office for McDonalds!

A recent post from fellow blogger(and Connections Pastor extraordinaire) Mark Waltz titled Sad Service Sightings compelled me to post about my own recent (?) poor service. I question whether or not it was recent because I think it was almost a month ago but I still find myself thinking about how AWFUL it was on a semi-regular basis, so much so that when I took my daughter to the doctor last week she was talking about poor service and my blood boiled and I started sharing the story with her. She was mortified FOR me! So, here is the story:

One fine evening I decided to go to McDonalds. Not my favorite restaurant but we were hungry, I did not want to cook, and it was close by. This particular restaurant on the West side of South Bend has never had the BEST customer service, but at least it was usually better than the KFC next door which NEVER gives me what I order, but I digress. On this particular day my husband and I ordered Quarter Pounder Value Meals, Paige ordered a hamburger Big Kids Meal and Breanna wanted fries and a yogurt parfait and a soda. Not a difficult order. We paid our money at window #1 and here is the order of events at window #2:

8:31pm - Window opens, young lady sticks an ice cream cone in my face.
I look at her and state "I did not order a cone"
to which she replies "it says cone"
"I ordered a parfait" (cone is still in her hand, she is pointing it at me)
"it says cone"
"I ordered a parfait"
"It don't matter no how, they cost the same" (she pulls the cone in, goes further into the store and re-appears with the parfait, hands it to me and mutters something about it costing the same anyway and window closes, I sit stunned and bewildered at why she would choose to argue with me about what I ordered)
8:33pm - I hand the parfait to my husband and ask off hand "why, if I ordered a cone, would you give it to me before the rest of the order?" He shrugs, we wait.
8:34pm - same girl comes back to window and opens it and just stands there looking at us, not saying anything so I take the initiative and told her that we had a larger order. She says "Oh" and mutters something else about a cone and closes the window. We watch as she haphazardly fills our drink order and then begins to hand us the FOUR drinks individually! (Do I look like an octopus? Do you see 4 drink holders in my console? Come on! This is my pet peeve! More than one drink, you should assume or at least ask if I want a carrier) So, I ask for a cup holder and she begrudgingly takes the drinks and places them in one and practically shoves the thing at me. Then, she disappears.
8:36pm - still waiting
8:38pm - still waiting and being blatantly ignored. We had no chicken products, this is standard stuff that we ordered. Burgers and fries. Good thing we hadn't ordered a cone or it would have melted. I notice a woman and child pull up, park and walk into the store.
8:40pm - I make eye contact with another store employee who is at the front counter - with her tush/backside/fanny ON the counter, her back to the store, slurping a drink (apparently on her break) and when she sees me motion for assistance she talks to someone in the back that I can not see...obviously the girls who is supposed to be taking care of us. So at this point I am being ignored by TWO people. (I notice that the woman that parked earlier is placing her order and watching the girls that have been ignoring me.)
8:41pm - Girl who was at window #1, and took our money, wanders into the window #2 area and makes eye contact and I make a motion to her and now I am being ignored by THREE
people.
8:42pm - I motion to the girl lounging at the counter - and I mean, I motion BIG - both hands making the universal "come here" sign. She begins speaking to the invisible entity in back and mimics my same motion and continues to ignore me.
8:44pm - Girl who gave us the parfait and drinks returns with a bag and shoves it at me and retreats from the window. The burgers in the bag are barely wrapped, the fries are half full and worst of all there is NO CHILDS TOY! At this point I have been waiting for 10 MINUTES AT A FREAKING DRIVE THRU and the order is INCOMPLETE.
8:45pm - I motion to lounging girl again and she mimics me AGAIN! THAT'S IT! I pull up one car length - throw my car into park and storm into the store. When I get to the counter all the people who ignored me SCATTERED! I ask for the manager and the one person in the store not involved in this fiasco states that she will be right up - and she was. I begin to explain to the manager that I had just received the WORST service I have EVER received in my life. I am fairly forgiving to fast food places because you get what you pay for, but this was reprehensible. I don't remember my exact diatribe but boy was I angry - I did not yell but boy - I must have looked pretty angry judging the looks on everyone elses face. I also explained that when a child orders a child's meal the child expects to get a child's toy! The cost of which is added in to the cost of the meal! I pointed out all of the key players (or whatever you want to label them) and she apologized, found a toy for me, said that they would be dealt with,
8:51pm - and I left. The lady who I had seen enter the store earlier walked out behind me and told me how glad she was that I had come in. She was witness to the antics of those girls from inside and how they were talking about me. She was offended by how rude it was to behave that way in front of OTHER customers. She was just as appalled at the poor service even though her own service had been fine.

I ponder, still, writing to their corporate office. I also pondered printing the names of the offenderss in this post but I would not want to embarrass their families. Then I think: my teenage daughter, who works at a McDonalds, has been taught since a very young age the importance of customer service. She can spot poor service from a hundred yards. Where did these people LEARN that it is okay to give such poor service?

For all people out there who deal with customers: No matter how much you hate your job you DO NOT take it out on your customers. Customers should think that you are having a great day and that you at least LIKE your job. If you hate your job, or are having such a bad day that you can not pretend to like your job then you need to save your employer and your customers some frustration by quitting or asking to go home for the day until you can adjust your attitude.

For all employers: I would rather be short staffed than have my customers experience poor service.

I still wonder if I should write to their corporate office. Bad service leaves a lasting impression but I want to end on a good note:

Prior to my poor experience with this particular store. I visited that same establishment during a weekday morning to get nothing more than a large Diet Coke. If I could have ordered an I.V. drip of caffeine somewhere, I would have but Diet Coke was easier to procure. Anyway, a fabulous man named Jay Swift took my money from me at window #1. He said Good Morning as if he meant it, asked how my day was going, took my cash, gave me my change and told me to have a blessed day. The lady at the next window was pleasant and had a smile on her face and if I could have read her name I would print it here. That left enough of an impression on me that I actually shared my PLEASANT experience with my daughter later that day. So, as you can see, good experiences are shared by me as well...just with fewer words.

Stoned reporter

This video is pretty darned funny....

Stoned reporter

Weird but interesting.

I have been busy and to avoid being accused of ignoring my blog I give you these two little interestingly ODD things to ponder until I can blog something worthy of your attentions:


Oddity # 1

Oddity #2

Becoming a New Rebel

"Awaken a new generation to its heavenly destiny with this revolutionary resource! Fresh perspectives, inspiring biblical insights, and relevant life applications address 24 cutting-edge issues young people care about most, including relationships, money, health, faith, and worship. Ideal for emergent church leaders and young adults passionate about their faith!"

That is the description from Christianbook.com where I DID NOT purchase the book: The New Rebellion Handbook I stumbled upon this book this past Sunday while leaving church. I was perusing our church bookstore and the funky antique looking pages caught my eye. Of course the words "new rebellion" had NOTHING to do with it. I started reading it on the way home and I was on page 22 when I said out loud "Whoa, this book is NASTY!" which I further explained to my husband that it is not in a bad way. The book is sort of sneaky in how it sucks you in and then throws in a big question such as the one on page 22:

"What occupies the greatest amount of time, thinking, and emotional energy in your life?"

A moment of panic while I grasp for the answer to the question and then because so many things can be the answer to that question I decided I would have to go back to that later, once I got home.

It goes on further and states "Is whatever dominates your mind born of God's Kingdom? Or is it characterized by the empty and temporary shell of this world's systems?"

COOL! The things that dominated my answer were mostly "born of God's Kingdom"...Yee Ha! That rocked! Still, need to revisit that question but at least I had a better sense of what a "new rebel" was supposed to be doing. Interesting enough, 2 years ago I would not have been able to have felt that way. I would have been "characterized by the empty and temporary shell of this world's systems"...how sad.

--------------------------------------------
Funny enough I still catch myself making statements that in hindsight I wish I would have phrased better. Like today, speaking with another staff member at the church we were having a conversation about something and I said something about "morons" because the old me judged people and did not think about things like education (or lack there of) being born out of circumstance. The new me, still uses that term because it has become part of my vernacular and I need to replace it with something like "unqualified" or "poorly educated" or "of the wrong skill set"

Dictionary.com defines the term moron as:

mo·ron (môrn, mr-)n.

1. A stupid person; a dolt.
2. Psychology. A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to 12 years and generally having communication and social skills enabling some degree of academic or vocational education. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

So, obviously I was using the word WAY out of context. The people I was referring to are not morons. They are "of the wrong skill set" and instead of choosing my words wisely I just said what came most comfortably out of my mouth. SO, to my fellow staff person - I apologize because that must have made you feel uncomfortable; to those that I was referring to - I apologize. It is just that the term (moron) had become such a part of my everyday relaxed speaking pattern that I did not think about it and it slipped out. So, I still have work to do. Especially on my word usage.Wow, what a wake up call. I always wonder how a particular band came up with their name...maybe this is what they meant by Godsmack!

Verbally vomiting

Ever feel really sick to your stomach, nauseous but unable to expel? Those of us who at one time in our lives drank beyond excess can probably relate, also those of us who survived a horrible stomach virus can too. I personally can say I have been a member of both of those clubs and the worst part was not being able to BEGIN throwing up. A trick from the bulemics has helped me...stick your fingers down your throat and help open the flood gates. After a good puking I always felt better, until of course the next wave of nausea would set in, but it would usually be easier, no fingers necessary...just assume the position over the porcelain puke receptacle and nature would take it's course. Once the "evil" was completely expelled, I always felt so much better. It was cathartic. So, I warn you "gentle readers" that I am using this blog as a "porcelain puke receptacle" for my mental and emotional nausea that has been plaguing me for a while now...Could I get a volunteer to hold my hair?

• I HATE MY HOUSE. I don't like being IN my house. I have had many evil thoughts about my house. Why?
  a) We purchased this thing in 1995 thinking that we could fix it up. Well, we ran into a couple of snags. Lack of skills and lack of funds. So, here we live in a constant state of looking under construction when in reality it is truly construction halted. I can not keep it clean to save my life. Between kids, pets, “construction”, lack of time and utter lack of excitement about the house…It is what I have come to call “the pit”. I have come to the point of wishing, longing if you will, to entertain in my house. It would solve some of my other issues (see below) but I can’t. The only people who are allowed in my house are my parents and friends that met me prior to 1995. They understand the REASON behind “the pit”. Thank God I have a feral dog or I would not have an excuse for people to not come over…Hope I get the house done before she dies. b) The location now sucks as well. It used to be a nice neighborhood. A couple of years ago some idiot sold part of a cornfield to allow another idiot to build some low rent apartments on the other side of the park. Then another city official idiot decided it would be a grand idea to destroy an ancient “creek” and another cornfield so that the apartment complex would have an east entrance…meaning they extended our street to the @$$ end of the complex. Now we live at the starting line of the Indy freaking 500. I used to enjoy sitting on my porch reading in the spring and summer…hunh, so much for that. The noise from the cars and the “music” emanating from them are quite the distraction, not to mention the undeserved wolf whistles and such from the testosterone loaded punks in the souped up pieces of crap that they drive…ever seen a rust bucket driving down the road with about $1000.00 invested in the rims, HUGE amps in the back seat…NO? That’s because they live in that apartment complex and only stay in my neighborhood.
  c) There is nothing to do here anymore. The grocery stores are of the “minimalist” variety. The shopping centers all closed down. I have to drive to a different part of town if I want something as simple as a plain white T-Shirt.
  
• I HATE MY TRUCK. We purchased the truck because it was a V8 with low miles. I am the type of person who will drive a vehicle until all that is left is frame, so a good strong engine is what I look for. I loved my truck. That was when gas was floating around $1.30 per gallon. Today it is $2.80 per gallon. Now it is my nemesis. I sink at least $120.00 in fuel in that thing every two weeks to go to work, take kids to and from school, grocery shop, attend meetings, attend services or serving opportunities at the church, and pick kids up from extra curricular opportunities. Notice there was no, drive to a friend’s house, go to a movie, dinner, lunch, beach, etc…you get the picture. I would sell it for a smaller car at this point, but I can not even GIVE my truck away…it has V8 ya know.
  
• I NEED MORE SUN TIME. I spent most of my early life living on the East coast where a beach was always minutes away. I am not a sun bunny, I burn and peel. I use SPF 60 and have still been known to burn. There is no tanning and golden complexion for me. I am still a fan of the sun, and I like it at the beach…very few bugs at the beach. I hate bugs. So when I want my sun, I do not want to be in woods, or grass where bugs spend their time. I want dry sand. The closest decent beaches around here are in Michigan…which takes me back to the reason I hate my truck.
  
• I CAN’T CONNECT. I am part of the connections team at work and I can not connect. It is not because I do not want to. I feel like I can’t. . I would love to go do lunch, dinner, movies, socializing in general with co-workers or friends but I always say that I cant. Lets see if I can work through why:
  a) I can’t afford it. These things usually take money, and most of the time fuel since I won’t allow people to socialize at my house a.k.a. “the pit”
  b) I don’t have time. I have a fully scheduled day and I have trouble asking people other than my husband to help with that schedule. Something as simple as picking up the kids from school, or
  c) keeping an eye on Paige because God knows I can’t leave her with Breanna for extended periods of time without World Wars 3 through 6 breaking out. PLUS I can not get past the “I decided to have them they are my responsibility” mindset. I hate asking people to watch my kids. Dave and I don’t have the type of parents that knock down your door demanding to take our kids and spend time with them. They already had grandkids before ours came along and the novelty has worn off.
  d) Guilt. If on the off chance all the planets are aligned…meaning I have money and time…Dave and I don’t spend enough time together as a couple. Now he is home every night but we are always focused on other things. We are aware of the fact that we should set a date night, we just can not seem to get it on the calendar. So, I feel guilty leaving him with the kids. Why should I have all the fun? That is my feeling.
  e) Independence / Fear …you decide. Some of you know that by the time I was a freshman in high school, I had been to 10 different schools in 3 different states. That means I had left a lot of friends. I think after 7th grade, I stopped REALLY trying. I have A friend from high school that I still speak to. Though we have been known to go for EXTENDED periods of time without contact. I can not name too many that were in my high school class. I think there is a part of me that is still afraid of trying to make friends and another part of me that is convinced that I did fine this long without too many so why do I need more? Plus, can you call someone your friend but then not want them in your home…a.k.a. “the pit”. Everyone I am drawn to or seem to “connect” with have these fabulous homes in fabulous neighborhoods (fabulous in comparison to mine). I feel like a fraud.
  
• THE FUNK. Every once in a while I am victim to what I call The Funk. No it is not PMS, it is not that often and the timing is wrong. I am always aware The Funk has arrived and therefore I TRY not to talk to people, unfortunately because I am an otherwise approachable person – people try to talk to me. Usually if you are a co-worker, acquaintance, client, or general person on the street I can veil my “temporary contempt for all human beings” because the interactions tend to be brief. However, if The Funk strikes at home, and it usually does…My poor spouse and occasionally my kids are collateral damage of the war between me and The Funk. If left alone, I can usually win the battle with The Funk. Unfortunately, I am very “internally attentive” and don’t respond well to external input so the slightest comment or request or what The Funk refers to as “unnecessary distractions and demands” and I turn into the troll that lives under the bridge. Unfortunately, there are people who do not understand the way this war between me and The Funk works so they reciprocate my response with a harsh tone and attitude. {Which sets loose my “PET PEEVE” alarm. I hate it when people do to a person something that has been done to them, ONLY because that person did it to them first. This kind of response is, in my opinion, childish. The offender should be dealt with by choosing a better time and confronting them in a calm manner when both parties have settled down. A behavior can not be corrected if the person has not been made aware of it and given the opportunity to correct it.} So, during The Funk, if people respond to my behavior with their own snappy retorts my blood pressure rises, my heart rate accelerates, and my blood boils to the point of eruption… which can be a verbal tongue lashing, or storming off in a fit of tears, or BOTH. If people would learn to ignore me and The Funk while it is happening and deal with us once it has passed - life for all would be better. I am NOT saying walk on egg shells, I literally want to be ignored as if I were not present. Do not ask me to do anything; do not speak to me unless I speak to you. I am always aware of my behavior but can not necessarily control it. Once the war is over…I am always the first to approach my victims and beg forgiveness. I can only think that The Funk is a side effect of the culmination of and extreme awareness of all of the above things that are frustrating me.

All of this leaves me with quite the Stasi Eldredge, Captivating complex: Too much and yet not enough. I do want to note that I am working toward improving upon these issues. There is a light at the end of this long tunnel...I can see it...maybe that is my problem, I can see it and I am becoming impatient.

Feel free to FLUSH at anytime now.

Fun with God

Don't bother playing rock-paper-scissors
with God, since his omniscience gives him
quite an edge. Besides, on the off-chance
you sneak one past him, he'll come out
throwing "Love, which conquers all."
What are you going to do, protest and
tell God to quit being cheesy?

-Brad Simanek
http://www.slightlyamusing.com

Happy Easter

I honestly, have nothing to post unless you want to hear about a Home Interiors party that I attended last night, or about my visit to the post office this morning. Really, nothing exciting the past 48 hours. I just wanted to share a good tiding to all:

HAPPY EASTER!

Remembering the Cross ---by Mykahl Thompson

Nothing special, just a post...

So, here I sit, "pen in hand" wondering what to share with the world? Why am I even here doing this? Because someone in another city (whom, I have never met) read my blog and took a moment to instant message me to ask me how I was doing after my surgery. Wow, how nice is that? No smarmy conversation, nothing illicit, just concern. (Although I did have to give him a little jab for being behind on reading my blog since that post is about a month or so old) What a nice change of pace. Thanks Jay.

Anyway, what shall I share with my fans today?

THE STUFF ON MY DESK:

The art/decor/clutter on my desk at home actually includes some really strange stuff:

• a beanie bunnie
• a beanie dog (doberman of course)
• a lopsided clay masterpiece by Paige
• a real (dead) baby shark floating in blue water (my mother purchased in Florida as a gift for my husband, I try to hide it behind a speaker but I can still see it)
• a package of C batteries with only 1 battery in it.
• Lots of Bride magazines (tax write off)
• coasters
• a blue glass paperweight shaped and frosted to look like a globe
• pictures of my kids (several years old - note to self, update pictures on desk)
• lots of floppys - God only knows what's on them
• Losts of CDs music and data
• A package of 9 volt batteries with only 1 battery in it
• a bumper sticker that says "I know it all, I just can't remember it all at once" which I bought to hang up at my last place of employment but was offered a better job before I could hang it up.
• 3 different cameras
• toys my niece Kimberlee left during her last visit
• books by Janet Evanovich - I highly recommend her Stephanie Plumb bounty hunter series - very funny. (It is my latest guilty pleasure. A shout out to Kelly P. - soon to be Kelly T. for introducing me to that one.)
• Bills - big surprise there
• VanZant CD - highly recommend for rock and country lovers alike - songs are fun but deep. Good stuff!
• A toothbrush (??????????) does not look like any of ours...Paige just informed me that it, too, belongs to Kimberlee.
• phone book
• State tax booklet...HOLY CRAP, we have not sent in our state taxes! (pause while I write a big @$$ note to Dave - it's his job to take care of the taxes)
• a vase
• lotion
• glue stick
• checks
• 3x5 card file that I can not recall what is in it
• the game "Mind Trap"

That about covers it....I need a bigger a desk.

A shout out to Jeff Guy!

Hey Jeff! Great to know that you read my blog. For those of you who do not know him Jeff is the husband of my wonderful boss Kathy Guy. From what I hear he is a great spousal unit. Real handy in the kitchen...can make a mean taco salad and some killer pork chops. He is also rather skilled at directing traffic at Granger Community Church. Apparently, Jeff mentioned to Kathy that I am losing fans because of my recent neglect to my blog. So, for the record...I have been really busy. I have a couple of weddings that I am planning, plus I am helping with the Women's retreat, that on top of my day job...I got a little sidetracked and have not been blogging. So to my fans...I apologize.

Unfortunately I can not think of anything exciting to blog about so I will share something that I just heard that I found amusing to think about: (For those of you sensitive to the subject of Nudity, you need to stop reading RIGHT NOW)




From the show "Family Feud" Survey of a hundred women. What sport would you watch ONLY if the players were naked? Well, my thoughts went to things like football but I watch ND and they are rarely if ever naked, then baseball...nope nudity would not make me watch it, but many ladies watch baseball. Actually many ladies watch sports. What sports do I NOT watch...Bowling, Fishing...but have you seen the men...I would not WANT to see them naked. I really don't believe adding NUDITY to the sport would make me want to watch it. I actually believe that the NUDITY would deter me...I would cringe at the thought of those poor guys without their protective gear getting hit with something. What amused me were two of the answers that were on the board (there were a total of 8, Football was number 1 and baseball was number 2): Tennis was on the board (I tried picturing my spouse playing Tennis nude and had to giggle.) and then there was Polo...I did not know who to feel more sorry for the polo player or the horse. Then to add to the fact that Nudity was being discussed on a show that airs before the 6pm news...The next question they asked and forgive me for having my mind in the gutter but I have to say that it was truly poor judgement on the part of the people who produced and directed "FAMILY feud"...The next question was "Name something you do with ONLY one finger" ...okay, yes, pick your nose was on the board...I did not wait around for number one, I came here to update my blog and get my mind out of the gutter...ahhhh blogging is so cleansing.

Post Surgery Report

So, I had surgery on March 2nd to remove an ovary and the baseball sized mass that was attached to it. I am doing well. That being said, here is what I have learned from my first ever surgery:

• Operating rooms are FREEZING cold. I think it is to distract you from the procedures they are about to perform. FREEZING cold, everything they connected to me, made me JUMP it was so cold. My TEETH were chattering in the recovery room.
• Anesthesiologists are funny people
• The surgeon likes to talk to you in RECOVERY because they know that you are not yet coherent enough to ask questions and then they tell your family the important details so that all of your information is second hand and therefore questionable.

Things I learned during my time off for recovery:

• Local anesthetics work well and therefore when the doctor suggests taking it easy, you SHOULD take it easy because when the local anesthetic wears off - you pay for it if you haven't.
• Moms still like to be Mom for their children at ANY age.
• I can be perfectly content with my house in a state of disaster so long as I am busy within the clutter. However, if I am still long enough to look at it and I am not tired....I CAN NOT STAND IT.
• My husband thinks that I don't mind clutter at any point.
• Either I do not know how to ask him or instruct him or my husband really does not know how to take care of me when I am "sick" / recovering. (I learned this once before when I had pneumonia but had forgotten until now) OR
• I don't want my husband to take care of me so I try to do it myself
• I need to learn how to be still
• I need to learn how to ask for help
• I need to find someone to take care of getting my kids up and off to school when I am sick or if I ever need surgery again because it really screwed me up to have to wake up at 6am and drive them to school (I know I have a husband but he does have to be to work before 6am.)
• Dogs want to go out more often when I am home.
• Dogs want to come in more often when I am home.
• Cats like to snuggle with me when I am in bed.
• The phone only rings when I finally get to sleep.
• Lots of people love me

I know I learned more, but those are the highlights.

Frustration of the day...

The South Bend Tribune reported today about two totally different topics and the combination made me CRAZY. I know that I have been frustrated by it before but never had it so CLEARLY frustrated me than the way it was presented to me today.

#1 NASA craft successfully enters Mars' orbit. It's expected to gather more data than all previous missions combined. In the fall, the orbiter will begin exploring the Martian atmosphere, scan the surface for evidence of ancient water and scout for future landing sites to send robotic and possibly human explorers. The $720 million mission is managed by JPL in Pasadena. Click here for the whole story

#2 (I can't find the story but I know it was there) There was once again a story about the South Bend Community School Corporation needing to cut money from their programs. It was the Head Start program but still an educational program cut...$52 million. (wonder if we could borrow some funds from NASA)

Why I love the work of Dean Koontz...

"I'm happy." I assured him....

"You're at peace, son. There's a big difference."

"Which would be what?"

"If you're still, and if you don't hope too much, peace will come to you. It's a grace. But you have to choose happiness."

"It's that easy, is it? Just choose?"

"Making the decision to choose isn't always easy."

"This sounds like you've been thinking too much."

"We sometimes take refuge in misery, a strange kind of comfort. But no matter what happens in life, happiness is there for us, waiting to be embraced."

"Sir, did this come to you after three bottles of Negra Modelo, or was it four?"

"It must have been three. I never drink as many as four.

-Dean Koontz, Forever Odd
(a conversation between Odd Thomas and
Chief Wyatt Porter)

Sex is a POWERFUL message

SEX. Amazing how three little letters can provoke so much...STUFF

So, who would have thought that a church in Granger, Indiana would have received so much press? Our little mylamesexlife.com promotion has stirred up quite a buzz.

The Local Fox News had this

WNDU South Bend had this

WSBT South Bend had this

There was more local news, the local radio station B100 was begging for someone from the church to call in during their morning radio show. What surprises me the most is that on Sunday a national cable program "FOX & Friends" and then again today, Fox News channel's Dayside program picked it up.

So, the church shows pictures of feet dangling off the end of a bed and it ends up all over the news - maybe we should have worked our way into it a little by showing a little toe this year, next year a painted toenail...

The word has spread...we are so excited...I think Mark Beeson mentioned that we should set up extra chairs.

Getting over myself

Well, I found the answer to my last post. From who? From the same man who (without knowing) practically took my hand and walked me up to Jesus and introduced me to him. Mark Beeson, the Senior Pastor at Granger Community Church has a way of explaining things - for me anyway - that brings everything into FOCUS. I see things all the time but quite often they are fuzzy, and he has the ability to fine tune my vision to see things better.

Today at SWAT, which is our staff meeting, he spoke to us about investing and inviting. He shared stories with us about people he had invested seven to ten years into building relationships and offering invitations before they would come to the church. Mark has a gift, a bent - if you will, to fire people up and make them want to join him. If Mark, with his gifts, has found people resistant and still persists with his invitations.....Who am I to quit after one failure?

Thank you Mark.

I love my friend.

I can't even name this post

I invited a friend to church this week. I have tried for some time to get her to come with me. I try not to nag her, because back when we were teenagers and she attended church every week (although when I would go with her because I had stayed the previous night at her house, it always seemed as if it was against her will) she never tried to "convert" me and she usually point that out to me when I invite her. So this last time when I invited her, I genuinely believed that it was a service that she would get something out of. She is Catholic, but she does not go to church. I know that her Dad tries to get her to come and I know what she says about that. I invite her anyway. I have known for a long time that she is angry at God. I understand that. I also know that it is okay to be angry at God. Just like everyone else that you get angry at, I feel that unless you confront them with what you are angry about you will never get over that anger.

So this week, I invited her again. In the past she has always said things like "I'll think about it" or "I have to work" or "I really don't feel well" or her husband "is going to be home and I have not seen him for a while" not exact quotes but things along those lines. Which even when it was a possibility I never received a "Yes" before so I tried not to hold much hope about it. OBVIOUSLY evangelism is not my thing.

This time was different. I invited and she said that she would have to check the work schedule for the weekend. The next day I spoke to her and she said YES! She came over that night and we had a great visit but I also feared that because she is angry at God, my enthusiasm would scare her off. I know that sounds weird but you would have to understand this friend of mine.

Before she came over, we had been talking on the phone and she asked me "What are you expecting from this? From me going to church with you?" and when she asked she said that I really should not have to think about it. Luckily I really didn't. I told her that, everything in my life that I have enjoyed I have always tried to share with her. This was not different, especially now since this is such a big part of my life. It is the center of it. She asked if I was going to expect her to join me on a regular basis and I told her that I highly doubted she would because our schedules are so different but if it she got enough out it - it would not matter and she can come during any service she wanted with her children and husband. I also told her that I know how she feels about God right now and how she is angry with him and that maybe this will shed a new light and if nothing else, because she is still Catholic - maybe one day if someone asks her about it, she will know that this is different from the way she was taught and maybe direct them to us so that we can help them take their next step. Her reaction "Oh - you want to use me as a recruiter" she was laughing and said she was kidding and that she understood. Still, she said she would join me.

She came over, we had a great visit. She went home. I spoke to her the next afternoon at 1:30 and reminded her that church starts at 5:30. Something in her voice made me wonder, but she said she was coming and that she would probably have her oldest daughter with her. Which is great, she had been there before. I had great hope. My family and I arrived early in the hopes of being able to meet her when she walked in the door - it is a big church - so that she would not have to hunt us down. At 5:22 I called her house. Her oldest daughter picked up the phone, told me she was sleeping and was not feeling well. I simply asked her to tell her Mom I called and would talk to her later. I know she has been having some issues with her health lately, I do not doubt that she was not feeling well...however, I must say - I was crushed. I simply want to share with my friend what makes me the happiest I have ever been. I want her to be this happy. I wish I weren't so affected by her not coming. Inviting people to church is so hard for me, so out of my comfort zone. How do you try again when it hurts so bad when your efforts seem to fail?

Who are you people anyway?

I added a "hit counter" to my post the other day. Curious to see if anyone was visiting since I have only had ONE COMMENT in the history of my blog. So I dare you people... are you brave enough to say hello and let me know you are visiting...share with me what you think of any particular post, tell me it's great, it sucks, or even for those who visit and actually know me - inquire about "hey, where's my props?"
(that kind of language just does not EVER sound or feel right from me does it?)

Well everyone...again, I double dog, no triple, make that QUADRUPLE dog dare ya - post a comment. Let me know you were here. (this could be a job for the CSI unit!)